Just One Rose
by creepyworlds
Summary: Just one rose. It was dark red, and the ends of the petals were as dark as blood. The leaves were dying and crumpled up. It wasn't just a plain flower, it was deadly. I looked up into his steel eyes, and we both knew everything this rose meant.
1. The Head Girl

**I do not own anything, except for the plot. Have fun guys!**

The sun was setting in the sky, letting the darkness take over my mind. I lay in bed and stared blankly outside through my window. The stars were coming out. Yet, no matter how beautiful the sky was, tears formed and rolled down my cheeks, creating tiny streams into my neck. I shivered at the coolness of my room despite the hot summer night. The air conditioner was on and soon, I knew I would be freezing. I didn't want to be cold. It would only remind me of _that_ night. I got up and slowly sneaked down the stairs. My parents were snoring. The floor creaked at my weight but after a few minutes of effort against the noises, I was out the door. The heat wave and melancholy hit me at the same time, and I stumbled towards the swings in my back yard. Their touch was comforting, pure. I knew I would be sick in no time. After reliving a few moments of childhood, I jumped off my seat and lay in the grass. Dizziness struck me, the world was turning, I begged it to stop. And my eyes dropped, closed, as I drifted into sleep.

I woke up early the next morning because the sun was glowing in my face. _I forgot to close the blinds. _ But something soft and prickly was sticking to my face. Irritated, I got up, completely lost. I glanced up and recognized my back yard. _Whoops. _ Smiling to myself, I darted into the house. Last night's tears were already forgotten. I accidently ran into my father who was heading out to get some bread.

"Sorry!" we said at the same time. We burst into laughter.

"Why are you out so early?" he asked.

_Well, you saw that coming smartass._

"Oh, you know, early walk, nothing really special." I answered.

"In your pyjama's? You have grass stuck to your face." he said.

_Well spotted._

"Haha. You got me! Actually, I fell asleep outside. End of story." I said.

He didn't push it any further, and I was thankful for that. He chuckled, recognizing his daughter, and left. I hummed all the way to the kitchen. As I reached the refrigerator door for my orange juice, my mom walked in.

"'Morning sweety."

"'Morning mom."

She was all dressed up for work. She poured herself some coffee and took out a mug for mine. She pushed to cereal box towards me.

"No sugar, no milk right? Cream?" she asked while fixing my morning drink.

"Ten points for Granger!" I laughed. "Aren't you supposed to be at work? It may be early but, well…"

"Got up late. So I worked in the dining room a bit. Anyways, I have to be there in half an hour. Love you!" she said.

She picked up her briefcase, kissed my cheek and left, leaving a very lonely coffee on the table. Too bad I wouldn't have it, she liked hers with sugar in it. My mom is a work freak. I guess it's where I got the whole 'study-thing' from. My dad on the other hand, likes vacations, so he took one on my last week before Hogwarts. I sipped my coffee until I heard the door unlock.

"I'm back!" he yelled from the hall.

"I know!" I yelled back.

He entered the kitchen and dropped the bread on the table.

"Little miss know-it-all" he smiled "Still hot. Enjoy."

I took my time for breakfast while thinking about the books I would read later. We had already done my school shopping, so I was all ready for the big, big day! Which was in exactly a week. I wanted to learn the basics before starting my seventh and last year in Hogwarts. At least it took my mind off Ron. That twat who had broken my heart so many times. This time I knew was the last. I was over him during the day, but late at night I would relive every moment we had spent together. Soon, I thought, I will be completely healed.

My dad went to fetch the mail, but came back in with not only a few letters, but also a bloody hand.

"What happened?" I asked, concerned.

"Nothing. There's an owl outside who wouldn't let me take the letter in it's beak. Guess it's for you, huh?" he said.

_Why would I need another letter? I already had my list of supplies._

I ran out, forgetting my father and is Band-Aids, and gave a few nuts to the owl. While it was eating, I opened the letter.

_Miss Granger,_

_We are pleased to announce that you are Head Girl of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!_

_Your badge is enclosed with this letter. We are awfully sorry for not informing you earlier._

_Hoping you are well,_

_Professor McGonagall, Headmistress of Hogwarts_

I let out a little yelp. I was Head Girl! I was Head Girl! I ran into the house and squeezed my father into a huge hug. My mother was delighted by the news. Both were very proud. The week went by like nothing. I was so caught up in my studies and in my family time, not once did I think of Ron. The day came, finally, and I dragged myself to the Hogwarts express.

"Bye mom, dad. I'm going to miss you so much. I'll owl you, I promise!" I burst out.

"We love you, sweety, don't forget that. Have a nice year!" said my mom, hugging me tight.

"I'm so proud of you. Be careful with the boys. No Ron, ok?" said my dad. I smiled at him, thankful. He understood. With a few last goodbyes, I hopped onto the train. I waved at them for a few seconds before looking for an empty compartment. I didn't find one, but I found Neville, Ginny, Harry, Luna, Ron and Lavender. These two were snogging. The others were looking at them with disgust on their faces. I didn't have a care in the world, so I went in and set my trunk under my feet as I sat down.

"Hey guys!" I said cheerfully "How are you?"

Ron and Lavender ignored me, but the others grinned at me and greeted me back. Ginny got up suddenly.

"Hey, um, listen, I heard you were Head Girl. Can you show me your compartment?" she nervously said.

"Yeah sure." I answered as I dragged her out. "What's up?"

"Nah, nothing, just can't stand those two" she pointed at Ron "We're all really mad at him, you know."

"Ginny. It's okay. I just don't want to talk about it." I said. "How were your vacations?"


	2. The Head Boy

Chapter 2 – The Head Boy

Ginny went on and on about how she was bored out of her wits all summer, and how Lavender was driving Harry and her nuts so they were out all holidays with Luna and Neville.

"I think Luna and Neville like each other" she said with a huge smile spread across her face. "Well, with Luna it's hard to tell, you know she's so special, but Neville? Definitely, if you ask me."

"How about you, Ginny? Any boys I should know about? Come on, you call tell me" I said.

She went as red as her hair, and I decided not to push it further. It was nice having this girl talk. I needed it.

"So… Do you want to see my compartment? I still have two hours before I have to go there, so you can visit. Anyways, I don't even know who the Head Boy is. Do you?" I asked.

"I don't know who it is. Let's hope he's sexay, since you're going to share a dormitory with him." She winked at me.

"Oh, give me a break. I won't have time for any other boy. N.E.W.T's coming up, remember?" I said

We were nearly there, and our conversation was going as if Ron had never happened. I loved that. Ginny understood how I needed to forget everything without "Obliviate".

"Don't give me that speech sistah, I know you won't resist a boy who's sexy, smart, funny and whatever else." she said.

"Hey, look who's talking! Aren't you the girl who won't even tell me the name of your crush? Anyway, who would be smart enough, funny enough and…" I slid open the compartment's door, still looking at her. Ginny's jaw dropped suddenly, and I turned around "sexy enough…" my voice trailed off and this time, my jaw dropped.

There stood Malfoy, in my compartment. And was he ever gorgeous. He was wearing Muggle clothes. A dark pair of jeans that curved perfectly his arse, a dark AC/DC t-shirt that made his muscles stand out, and a leather jacket that just added the 'bad-boy' touch. His silky blond hair fell into his eyes, his hands were looking for something in his trunk. I shook my head. _What the hell, Hermione? _ Zabini was with him, and Ginny was gaping at him. I smacked her behind the head. She looked at me, angry, for a second, then giggled.

"Ladies" Zabini greeted us.

"Gentlemen" I greeted back.

Malfoy glanced up, saw us, widened his steel eyes at me, then went back to looking in his trunk.

"Malfoy, what the hell are you doing here? Get out before I jinx you to China." I said.

"Granger, what the hell are _you _doing here?" he said.

"Well, _Malfoy, _it turns out that I'm Head Girl now. Now get out!" I said.

"Sweet. Good thing it's you, the most responsible girl in our year." said Zabini.

"Thank you, Zabini." I said cheerfully "At least one of you thinks so."

"Why, you can call me Blaise. The war's over. Let's put our old habits behind us." he said.

_There's no way in hell I'm calling him Draco._

_Draco._

_Draco._

_Hm. Like the sound of that._

I shook my head vigorously. _Shut up, Hermione._

"Um, ok, _Blaise._" I said. I sounded weird, after years of calling him Zabini.

"Aha!" yelled Malfoy.

He was holding something purple in his hand. I tensed up.

"Found it. Man, it was well hidden." he said.

Then he showed us his Head Boy badge. And I nearly fainted.

"What? No, there must be a mistake!" I screamed while trying to take the badge away from him. "It's wrong!"

He pushed me back and leaned in such a way that his lips were next to my ear. I swallowed my disgust and went still, not touching him. _Ugh._

"I guess you're going to have to deal with me all year…" he whispered smoothly.

I could feel my breakfast coming back up, so I stepped away from him.

"You're disgusting" I blurted.

"I know." he simply said.

I took Ginny by her arm and dashed out through the door. I speeded until we got back to the compartment. We paused in front it.

"It's a mistake, he can't be Head Boy!" I said.

"Oh my god, did you see how sexy he is? I mean, just gorgeous." she said, not paying attention to any of my words.

"Ginny, Malfoy is not _sexy_!" I said.

"What? No, I was talking about Blaise. Jeez. Calm down. Well, Malfoy is gorgeous too, but nothing compared to Blaise. I can't believe you're going to practically live with them!" she said.

_Oh shit._

"Live... with him. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. Awesome." I said. "Looking forward to that."

She detected the sarcasm in my voice and went in the compartment. I sat next to Harry, my legs extended on the bench across me. Soon, Luna and Neville fell asleep (Luna resting her head on his shoulder. _Cute._), Ron and Lavender went to the bathroom, and Ginny and Harry went to get some food. I was reading a Muggle romantic book, because I was bored and had nothing else to read. I had even lent some to Ginny. Minutes went by in a deadly silence until the door slid open and made me jump.

_Malfoy._

He glanced at my legs and took his time ogling them, until I stood up.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" I said.

"It's time for us to discuss stuff before we get there." he said.

I rolled my eyes but followed him.


	3. Hell in a train

Chapter 3 – Hell in a train.

We walked to the front of the train, and he gestured me to go in. _What a gentleman._ My thoughts drifted to my bed at Hogwarts and I realized I was tired. I sat on the bench on closed my eyes. He sat next to me and closed his own eyes. I stood up to not be in contact with him.

"So, what is the plan?" I asked.

"I dunno." he said.

An awkward silence went by.

"Malfoy! Help me out here!" I said.

"Let me sleep, smartass." he answered.

_Asshole._

I felt my cheeks going red as I took the list of things to do that McGonagall had left for us.

_-Plan patrolling schedules_

_-New passwords for houses to be chosen by Prefects_

_-Password for Prefects bathroom_

_-Password for Heads dormitory_

_-Dates of Hogsmead trips_

_-Food for Halloween, Christmas, Easter and End-of-Year feast_

"So what do you want to start with?" I said.

"I don't care, let's just divide the tasks and do it separately." He said.

"Fine."

In the end, after lots of arguing, it was decided that I should do the three first tasks and he would do the other three. Mine took an hour to plan and as soon as I was finished speaking to the prefects, I went back to Ginny's compartment. It was empty, except for Ron and Lavender.

"Hello there Hermione, how are you?" Lavender asked with her hypocrite smile. I didn't answer.

"You have no reason to be mad at her." said Ron. I smiled but inside I was burning with desire to punch him in the face.

"You're right" I said. "After all, whatever she does doesn't affect me. Hey, she could go bang every boy in the castle I wouldn't care. Excuse me, how many boys did you tell you were losing your virginity to?" I asked innocently.

Lavender gaped at me "You bitch!"

"You have no right to say those things about her !" yelled Ron, getting redder by the minute.

"Shhhh, Ronald, I think the bench is trying to say something to me…" I paused, pressing my ear against the leather and noticed Malfoy right outside the door, laughing at me. "It's saying… that you're a complete asshole and twat."

I stood up, punched him in the nose as Lavender screamed ("Ronnie! Are you all right?") and ran out the door. Into Malfoy. He was laughing so hard.

"Malfoy! I'm sure you remember when I punched you that way in third year. Outta my way. NOW." I commanded.

He moved, still laughing, and I went to the girls bathroom. I locked the door and burst into tears. It had been so long since I had cried. A week. Usually I let everything out at night because my days were full of sun and people I loved. Now Ron was ruining everything I had worked hard on, all the masks and poker faces I had practiced. I felt like I was breaking down a second time.

_He's the asshole! He's the one who broke me! I'm not going to show any sign of weakness in front of anybody!_

I wiped my tears and realized another hour had gone by. I went to the compartment, ignored the snogging couple who was still there, picked up my trunk and went to the Heads compartment. It was three o'clock, I still had two hours before we got there. Malfoy was changing into his robes when I got in, and I tried hard not to stare at his muscled back.

"Jeez, Granger, I was changing!" he complained while putting his school shirt on. He struggled with the buttons.

"With the number of girls who have seen you naked, I'm sure you don't mind another one just seeing your back. Ugh." I sighed.

He smirked and turned back to me. "So, did you like the sight?"

"What? Hell no." I said, disgusted, letting myself drop on the bench. _Except you did._

I was torn between his sexiness and my disgust, which meant my still strong desire to kill him.

"Granger, help me with the buttons, will you?" he asked.

"Nuh-huh. You're a big boy now! Do it yourself." I said, irritated.

"Please?"

_What?_

I had never heard him say please. I stood up, perplexed, and approached my fingers to his shirt.

"This is the last time, Malfoy." I said.

He smiled and we stood silent until I was done. I could feel him breathing in my hair so I recoiled.

_Disgusting._

"Turn around so I can change." I said.

"Hey, you saw me naked. Now it's your turn."

"Go to hell."

"Not without you."

"I hate you."

"The feeling is mutual." he said.

"Just, turn around."

And he did. I took off my top and jeans and changed into my shirt, skirt and high socks. Just as I was doing my tie, I noticed that he was staring at my reflection in the window while doing his own tie. _He didn't dare._

"HEY!" I screamed. "WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU DOING?"

"Admiring the view. Look, we're going through a forest!" he said calmly, as if nothing had happened.

"Whatever! Stop staring!" I screamed less louder.

"Whatever! Stop screaming!" he answered.

I clenched my hands into fists and sat on the bench. I was literally fuming. But the train had a regular movement, making me drowsy like a baby, and soon I was fast asleep.


	4. The Common Room

Chapter 4 – The Common Room

I woke up when the train was slowing down. I was lying on the bench, my head resting on something that smelled _really _good. It was soft, and I didn't want to get away from it. I just smelled so good.

_It smells like… boy's perfume._

I opened my eyes and stared blankly at the wall opposite me, at my trunk under the bench and my clothes on the bench.

A voice I knew too well came to my ears. "You awake?"

I sat up stiffly and jerked away from him.

"What the hell? How did you know I was awake? And why was I sleeping on you?"

_Too bad for the perfume._

"Well, I knew you were awake 'cause your breathing changed. And actually, you fell on me. I tried pushing you away but you wouldn't budge or wake up." he said.

"Whatever, you could have left."

"You could have woken up."

"You could have woken me up."

"You wouldn't wake up."

"Ugh!" I sighted while rolling my eyes.

I grabbed my trunk, annoyed because of our arguments and headed to Ginny's compartment.

_How am I going to survive all year?_

All my friends were there, ready to get off the train, and as soon as we came to a stop, we all jumped off. It was so good to see Hogwarts again, rising in the distance. Hagrid was there to collect the first years and I waved at him, smiling, knowing that this was the last time I would see him calling "Firs' years! Firs' years, this way please!". I turned around to get on the carriages and gasped.

_Thestrals._

I thought I'd never live to see the day I'd be able to stare at one. I had seen death. The war was over now, and I wanted to forget it and I hoped the carriages would be the last reminders of it. Fortunately, others got scared too and it needed a bit of explaining to calm them down.

We got to the castle easily and sat on the benches for the start-of-year feast. It was delicious. Ginny kept giggling when Harry would whisper something in her ear, Luna was still saying weird comments and Neville was filling Seamus and Dean about his vacations. A lot of people congratulated me for my new Head Girl status and scowled when I told them Malfoy was Head Boy. Ron would frown at me sometimes and I did my best at ignoring him. Lavender spoke to Parvati in a high pitched voice that annoyed me so much, and I thanked Dumbledore for not being in their dormitory anymore. I glanced up at Malfoy once and caught him staring intensely at me. I narrowed my eyes at him and went back to my food and my discussion about shopping with Ginny. Finally, at the end of the feast, we all headed to our dormitories. The Heads was on the third floor. When I got in front of the portrait, I realized Malfoy hadn't given me the password, so I waited for him.

_He'd better get here fast._

After ten minutes the blond-haired Slytherin showed his face.

"What's the password?" I asked him.

He ignored me. I decided to try again.

"Malfoy, may I have the password? Please?"

He looked at me and smiled.

"That's not the way to ask me, Granger." he said.

Puzzled, I looked up at him.

"You'll have to convince me to give it to you. Fortunately, it's written on this little piece of paper that I'm supposed to give you." he said.

_Oh no. You're going to suffer, my friend._

I jumped on him and tried taking the password from him. "Give… me… that!" I said.

He was stronger than me and pushed me away without any efforts and laughing. I changed tactics.

"Um, Malfoy…" I said, while getting dangerously close to him. "What would you do…" I pushed him up against the wall. He raised his eyebrows and didn't resist. "if…" I leaned into him, on my toe tips, and whispered in his ear "I took it from you this way?"

I snatched the paper from him and got away. _God does he ever smell good._

He just stood there, astonished, while I said the password to the Knight who was guarding the entrance and entered the common room. It was beautiful. A huge fireplace was waiting for the cold days to be lit, a table for homework was in the middle, surrounded by benches, and armchairs were sitting in front of the fireplace. The staircase to my room was on the right, and the one for his room was on the left. I ran up to my room and collapsed on the bed, without changing or even looking around me.

Around one a.m., I woke up lost again. _Am I in my garden? _But the sheets were soft and my eyes got used to the darkness. My room at Hogwarts. I lit some candles and stripped out of my clothes. I didn't open my trunk, I was just so exhausted. I lay there, motionless, naked, and once again heartbroken. It was night. All the memories of Ron struck me at once, and all the feelings of that night came bursting from their buried place in my heart. Again, I cried. I cried because he was torturing me, because I felt stupid, because I hated being with Malfoy, because the world sucked. I cried because I didn't believe in love anymore. I didn't seem to calm down, but tiredness swooped over me and I fell into horrible dreams.

I was dreaming of Ron, Lavender, Bellatrix, Voldemort. I was trying to fight but my wand wouldn't answer my commands, so I tried to run but my feet were bound to the ground. After a few minutes of struggling, somebody shot a Killing Curse to me, and finally, _finally, _I died. The last thing I saw was Ron kissing Lavender and Bellatrix shouting "Mudblood" at me.


	5. Late for Potions

Chapter 5 – Late for Potions

I woke up sweating and crying the next morning, with the image of Ron still floating in my mind. I got up, slowly, knowing it was five o'clock, but I just couldn't go back to sleep. I was terrorized and it always took me an hour to recover after my nightmares. The shower was cold and wiped my tears. When I got out, my face looked refreshed but I had black streaks under my eyes. Anybody who would look at me would know I hadn't slept well.

To get my mind off things, I decided to have breakfast then study. I headed to the Great Hall. It was empty. Since the end of the war, people had started to mix the tables, yet most of them kept to their houses. Still, it was common to see a few sit with other houses. I had breakfast, thanking the house elves for their excellent cooking, and went back up to my common room. I took out my new books, a parchment and a quill and started taking notes for the first classes I had: Double Potions with the Slytherins, Herbology with the Hufflepuffs and History of Magic with the Ravenclaws. At quarter to eight, I realized I had fifteen minutes before classes started. And Malfoy wasn't awake yet. I hated that, because I knew he would be late even though he was a Head. He was supposed to be an example, for heaven's sake. Fuming, I went up to his room and threw the door open. He was still fast asleep. He was bare chest, and a sheet was tangled up in his legs. He looked so peaceful, at first I didn't want to wake him. His hair was messy and cute. But after staring for a few seconds, I went to the window and opened the blinds loudly.

"Get up, Malfoy! Come on, get up! You're late!" I screamed.

"What the- GRANGER! Shit, don't you know about a boy's privacy?" he bellowed while pulling the sheet over him. "I don't care about being late!"

"Well, I do. Now get up." I said.

He rolled out of bed, grumbling, and pulled his shirt over him. I looked around to not stare at him and walked out of his room. I collected my things in my bag while he came down the stairs, fumbling with his tie. He hadn't combed his hair and it just made me drool. He threw his bag on his shoulder.

"Stop staring, Granger. Not your property." he said, smirking.

"I'm not staring. You didn't do you buttons right." I answered.

He cursed under his breath as I caught him by the elbow and dragged him to our class. _Great. Now we're late._ As we entered the class, a few eyes turned our way and laughed. Slughorn glanced up from his desk.

"Woooo Granger and Malfoy, huh?" somebody whispered.

I realized Malfoy was still doing his buttons and how the whole situation seemed like we had spent the night together. "No, no…" I said while others chanted at us. I blushed furiously.

"Well, I hope you have a good reason for being late. See me after class, both of you. Now sit down." Slughorn said.

I frowned at Malfoy and mouthed "This is your fault." at him, then sat down next to Harry. Malfoy winked at me and I rolled my eyes, horrified.

"You're never late for class, Hermione, what happened?" Harry seemed suspicious, raising the anger I felt.

"Harry, we did not have sex. He was sleeping; I had to wake him up. No big deal, sheesh." I said angrily.

"Ok, got the message. Just calm down, please?" he asked.

I calmed as he asked me to and the class went as usual. We brewed a sleeping potion. It was so easy I felt bored, yet Harry was having a few problems.

"I should have kept the Half Blood Prince's book." he complained.

"No, Harry, it wasn't good for you. It's better where it is now. Where you can't reach it." I said.

"Whatever." he answered, irritated. He still hadn't got over his mood swings.

When the class ended, I explained to Slughorn why we were late while Malfoy passed his fingers through his hair sexily. He let us go and we had to run to not be late for Herbology.

"You're going to pay for this." I told him between two breaths.

"I'd like to see that, Granger, since you have no more strength than I do." he said, amused.

We got to Herbology just as the others were going into class and we weren't late. The rest of the morning went by without any incident, and everything was peaceful until I met Ginny for lunch. She caught me by surprise, really excited and all smiles. She dragged me to sit next to her, facing all the other tables.

"Sooo, I heard you and Malfoy had some fun?" she said.

"Gin, nothing happened, he was late so I woke him." I said. She narrowed her eyes at me.

"Don't play that with me. Come on, tell me everything!" she whispered.

I sighted. "Ok, he was asleep, I got irritated, so I went to his room and WOKE HIM UP." I whispered.

"And, how is he asleep?" she asked distractively.

I was busy staring at Lavender eating Ron's face off, so I didn't hear her. She repeated the question. "Hermione? How is he asleep?" she asked once more.

I stared blankly at her then turned my gaze to the Slytherin table. He was there, laughing at something Blaise had said.

"He's… cute. His hair is all messy and sexy, and he looks so peaceful. Oh, and god! his abs, it just makes me hate him even more, that's how good…" I suddenly realized what I was saying. "he looks." I finished, before clapping a hand over my mouth. Ginny laughed at me and waved at Blaise, who smiled back. I blushed badly. I ate my meal quickly before rushing to my dorm, Ginny following me (I had promised to show her my bedroom). She repeated everything I said, making me nearly throw up my lunch, but luckily I contained it. We went through the door, and she continued saying all the words.

"That's how good he looks!" she went on, imitating my voice.

"Who looks good?" came a voice from behind us.

Malfoy and Blaise had just entered the room quietly.


	6. My room

Chapter 6 – My room

My mind had to work fast. I came up with the lamest lie ever.

"None of your business, Malfoy." I said. Ginny was laughing hysterically and the boys looked puzzled.

"Actually, I think it is, since the whole world seems to think we slept together, which is disgusting." he said. "And the fact that you haven't rested isn't really helping, has it?"

I turned to Ginny, horrified, and she looked at me with a "Not my problem" face. I grabbed her and pulled her up the stairs while making a face at Malfoy. She smiled at them before disappearing in my room.

"Gin? What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Oh, come on Mione! Listen to what Blaise said: 'Let's put our old habits behind us.' So I don't see why it would be a problem for us to be friends!" she said desperately.

"Friends with Malfoy? He ruined my life!" I nearly screamed.

"Forget and Forgive, Hermione. You'd better work on that." she said.

After a minute of silence, we changed our discussion to more important stuff, such as the way I would decorate my room and the posters I would put up. Neither of us had classes this afternoon, and I hated wasting this time when I could be studying, but I figured spending time with Ginny would be better since we hadn't seen each other all summer. I put a few Muggle bands that I loved, like Bridezilla or Metric. Ginny put a poster of her favorite Quidditch team up to add her own touch. The Weird Sisters was hanging on the wall over my bed, and Brad Pitt was placed so that he would be the first thing I would see every morning ("Who the hell is him? And is he allowed to be so hot?" asked Ginny). She soon asked me what I did all summer.

"I studied and went to the pool…" I said.

"How was your studying? What subjects?" she asked.

"What? No questions on any boys?" I laughed.

She shrugged. "Nah, we don't have to speak about that all the time, you know. All though, just tell me when you finally admit your crush on Malfoy, ok?"

I glared at her. "I hate him, Ginny. More than you can even imagine. He just looks good physically. Can we change the subject? I think I might explode."

"Fine. I know you hate him, but he's changed a lot. Even a person who never spoke to him would see the difference." she said quietly.

"Well maybe the fact that I hate him so much makes me blind. Now shut up and help me with these candles." I said angrily.

"Don't shut me up!" she screamed, then calmed down. Then smiled. "So, were there any boys at the pool?"

I chuckled. "Well, I did make a friend, but it was nothing, really, I was still getting over Ron. But he's suuuper cute."

"What's his name?" she asked eagerly.

I blushed. "Ethan"

"What, like in _Beautiful Creatures_?" she said.

"You know that book?" I said, surprised.

"Hello? You lent it to me last year. Remember? Anyways, it's ridiculous how badly informed the authors are about magic. And Twilight? Like vampires sparkle! Hahahaha!" she said.

I laughed with her. "Is it already time for dinner?" I asked.

She looked at her watch. "Nah, we still have half an hour."

Suddenly somebody knocked. "Come in!" I half-screamed. Malfoy came in, Blaise trailing behind him.

"Hey, could you speak less- Whoa!" said Malfoy "Who is this guy? And why is he hanging in front of your bed?" He was irritated.

"He's Brad Pitt, and he's a sex-symbol!" I answered while rolling my eyes.

"Well, how come I don't have a poster too then?" he asked.

"Malfoy, you may be a sex-symbol to other girls, but not to me." I said. Ginny yelled "Ha!" and started laughing.

"What's with her?" asked Blaise.

I blushed. "Nothing, she's making up stories in her head."

"What kind of stories?" asked Malfoy, smirking.

"Again, Malfoy, none of your business." I said while turning around to my closet and opening it.

"None… of… your… hahahaha!" continued Ginny, without being able to stop herself. Malfoy sat on my bed.

"Uh, Malfoy? Girl's room. Get out." I said.

"Well, you went into my room, so now I get to spend time in yours." He said.

_I have to stop making mistakes. He takes advantage of everything._

He looked around. "Well, and everyone keeps saying that boys rooms are dirty. They should see this one."

"I just unpacked. Did you expect it to be sparkly clean? Come back tomorrow." I said, then froze.

"Oh, I think I will." He chuckled.

_Shit. This is what I'm talking about._

"Oh, wow. Is this yours?" said Blaise. Malfoy was hiding him and I couldn't see what he was holding. Ginny peered over his shoulder and gasped, then started laughing even harder.

"What?" I said, blushing already.

Malfoy moved and I got a glimpse of what was in his hands. The lace was pouring through his fingers.

_I am so dead._

He was holding my black lingerie.


	7. The argument

Chapter 7 – The argument

_Oh fuck._

I squeezed my eyes shut, hoping this was a stupid dream and tried to hide my shame. Not only because of the lingerie, but also because of the swear word I just let out. I closed them for what seemed like forever and opened them, expecting to be in my bed and sweating. But my sight was something different.

_Still here? No no no no no no no no no no no nooooo…_

Malfoy stared at my underwear with a very surprised expression on his face, while Blaise expected me to reply at his question.

"Uh, yeah… yes, that's mine." I finally managed to let out.

Malfoy burst into laughter and Ginny took the lingerie from Blaise's hands to put it away in my closet. She didn't try hiding the smile on her face. Blaise chuckled for a few minutes.

"Does Ethan know about that black lace?" asked Ginny, who started laughing again. I blushed.

"Who's Ethan?" asked Malfoy.

"Nobody, some guy I met during summer at the pool." I answered quickly.

"What, so he saw you in a bathing suit?" he asked, frowning.

"Um, yeah? Is there a problem?" I said.

He turned away from me and continued staring at Brad Pitt. He didn't even answer my question. Instead, he changed the subject back to my underwear.

"Well, Granger, I hope you're planning on wearing that when I come check if your room is clean tomorrow." said Malfoy, still smirking.

"Whatever, Malfoy. You're the one who said it would be disgusting for us to have sex. I wouldn't sleep with you even if we were the last people on earth. Anyways, it would make you sick knowing that we would be mixing pure-bloods and mudbloods together." I said. I knew I had touched the weak spot.

He flinched. "I don't believe in pure-bloods and mudbloods anymore, Granger. Get over that."

"Why should I get over that when you've been treating me like an animal for seven years? Hey, you should get over it!" I yelled.

"I am over it!" he yelled back. Ginny and Blaise's smiles had disappeared. "I've been working on that all summer! You don't know what it's like!" he kept screaming.

"I don't care! You don't know what it's like to be a Muggle!" I screamed.

"As a matter of fact, I do!" he yelled. Blaise caught him and dragged him out of the room while Malfoy tried to get out of his grip. Tears were rolling down my cheeks as I sat on the bed, and Ginny came close to me and started stroking my hair.

"You went kind of ruff on him…" whispered Ginny.

I didn't answer. I kept crying, for the first time on front of somebody. I didn't know why it affected me so much and I wanted to know why I felt so bad. I had got him angry, something I had been trying to do since first grade. So why was I full of remorse and hatred for myself?

_What is my problem?_

Ginny stayed for an hour and let me cry on her shoulder, then asked me if I wanted dinner. I shook my head.

"I'll come check on you later." said Ginny while leaving.

I lost track of time and eventually, dragged myself down to the common room, where I cuddled up into an armchair. I heard Malfoy come back from dinner and ignored him. He ignored me. Ginny came back minutes after him and stayed with me even though I was the most boring person in the world. I stared blankly at the fireplace that wasn't lit (it was still really hot outside). Sometime around nine p.m. she left to see Harry, and I barely even noticed. I thought about Malfoy's hurt and angry face, and it made me feel even worse about myself. Hours later, I was still crying, and fell asleep in the armchair. My nightmares kicked in.

At one point in my dream, I was flying, flying so high in the sky I felt free. Yet I couldn't shake off the feeling of someone following me. Then I started falling deeper into a black world, as if the flying had never happened.

The next morning I woke up, still shaken, and in my bed. I didn't remember my dream. I was still dressed and my shoes were sitting on the side of the bed legs. I slowly walked to the shower to wipe last night's emotions away. Finally, my thoughts changed to studying and I went to the common room to spread my books in front of me. Malfoy was asleep in an armchair, and I remembered. I had fallen asleep in that armchair.

_What the hell?_

I turned back and went to my room to work on my bed. But I couldn't concentrate. When had I gone to my bed? I thought of sleepwalking or not remembering since I was so tired, but none of those seemed right. I tried studying History of Magic, but the dates wouldn't print in my mind. I went down to breakfast.

Ginny hugged me and asked me how I was, so I figured I must have looked exhausted. I told her everything about the armchair.

"Did you dream about anything?" she asked, smiling. "Did you have nightmares? Cause you seem really tired."

"I don't… remember… my dream." I said just as Malfoy walked in to the Great Hall.

Ginny dropped the subject and talked about having a last swim in the lake next Saturday since it would be the last hot summer day of the year. I nodded when I had to but kept my eyes on Malfoy. Once, he looked back at me and pierced me right through me, but didn't frown or look angry. He just seemed… indifferent. We both turned away at the same time.

The day went by quite fast, and my last subject was Potions. With the Slytherins. I had dreaded this hour I actually hoped it would not exist. Yet it came and so did Malfoy. As we entered the classroom, he brushed against me and I felt something I had felt during the night. His presence was following me in my dream. I stopped on my tracks but had to sit down, and Harry looked concerned.

"What's up?" he asked.

"Nothing. I remembered a dream I had last night, that's all." I answered.

"Do you want to talk about it? It looks more like a nightmare than a dream." he said.

"I'm fine, I just need a good nap before dinner." I said.

Malfoy didn't pay any kind of attention to me and I was happy about it. But when we got out of class, he brushed against me again and I knew I had felt him in my dream. I told Ginny I was going to nap before dinner and that she didn't have to come to see me. She smiled and said that she had plans anyway. I walked into the common room just as Malfoy was going up the stairs to his room.

"Malfoy!" I screamed.

He slowly turned around. "What, Granger? Are you going to throw accusations at me again? Just say so, I'll leave."

"No… I just wanted to apologize, but fine, you can pass if you want to." I said furiously. I started going up the stairs to my room when he caught my wrist and forced me to face him.

"So go ahead, say what you want to say." he said.

I blushed. "Malfoy, I'm sorry I said those things about you. I was wrong and I feel really bad about it. You were right, I don't know what kind of hell you must've gone through this summer, but just understand that I lost faith in you a long time ago."

I turned to leave. I hadn't said something so truthful in a long time and it felt weird to address it to him. Yet he held on to my wrist and pulled me back to him.

"Apology accepted. Is there a way I could make you regain faith in me, Granger?" he asked sheepishly.

"I don't know. Maybe you should just stay your usual charming self and let me make my mind about it. Let's just act like nothing happened, ok?" I said.

"Sure. Now where were we?" he said.

"We were at the point I was going to sleep because I need to before I collapse." I said, and shook his hand off of me.

"Right."

I went up a few steps and something came to my mind.

"Um Malfoy?" I asked.

"Yes?" he turned to me.

"Do you know how I got in bed last night?"

He smiled. "I do."

A few seconds passed.

"And are you going to tell me?" I said.

"I'll just let you figure it out."


	8. The Bet

Chapter 8 – The bet

The week went fast between my studies, school, my friends and Malfoy&Blaise. Ginny would hang around when I did my homework, and she would laugh with them both. She looked a bit depressed but I thought it was because of the beginning of school. I didn't want to push her and let her come to me. Saturday morning, I woke up early and met with Luna who was also awake. She was having problems with her Herbology homework, and Neville wasn't awake to help her. We went to the library together. Around eleven a.m. Ginny came bursting in, making Madam Pince scowl.

"Hermione! Get your bathing suit NOW." she said.

Madam Pince frowned. "Quiet!"

"Come on, Mione, you promised." whispered Ginny.

I turned to Luna. "Do you want to come?"

"Oh yeah. The bushes are probably full of Nargles..." she said distractively. I smiled.

"Great. We'll meet you at the lake" I said. Ginny was jumping of impatience.

I rolled my eyes and followed her to my room, grabbing my books on the way. We got to my room and she calmed down, didn't say a word the whole way there. Finally, I cracked.

"Gin! What's up? Why are you so silent?" I said.

"I uh… I…" she whispered. I stayed silent to let her speak.

"I told Harry I didn't want to take things to the next level with him." she said. I raised an eyebrow. "He started saying that Slytherins were idiots and other stuff. We had a huge argument because I'm friends with Malfoy and Blaise and he wanted me to stop seeing them. So I told him to forget about it and that we were over."

She didn't cry but her eyes expressed some sort of pain that wasn't sure about itself. "I mean, I loved him but I don't know if I still do. Let's just forget this, ok?"

I nodded. She put a smile on her face and looked into my closet for a bathing suit.

"Girl! You are so totally wearing this." she squealed. She was holding a black bathing suit that was kind of sexy.

"Whatever…" I sighted and while grumbling, put it on.

I stared at myself in the mirror and made a face. I didn't like my body. I turned my gaze back to my best friend who picked some clothes from the closet. She threw me a baggy shirt and a pair of shorts (that apparently made me attractive). We raced down to the lake and got there giggling, huffing and puffing and sweating. I followed her to a place under a tree, next to Malfoy and Blaise. Luna wasn't there yet. Malfoy was staring at Astoria Greengrass who was wearing a very sexy bathing suit and licking her lips. Malfoy wasn't bad himself. His hair was still wet and dangling over his eyes, his pale skin was a good contrast to his dark short and his muscles were just perfectly twitched for the way he was popped on his elbows. His legs were crossed and he didn't budge. He was way too sexy. Blaise looked up at us.

"Woo ladies, looking good!" he said. I blushed and Ginny just giggled. She took off her clothes and Blaise's eyes just got wider. She skipped to the water.

Blaise looked at me. "You don't mind if I, uh…" he pointed Ginny.

I laughed. "No, go ahead. But you lay a bad hand on her, I swear I'll kick your ass."

"Got it." he winked at me.

I sat next to Malfoy and took out map of Neptune to start learning it. He still had his eyes on Astoria.

"Hello Malfoy. Nice of you to notice our presence." I said. He didn't answer. After a few minutes, I spoke up again.

"What it is with men and bathing suits anyway?" I said distractively, but knowing I would get his attention.

"It's sexy, we can't help it. She is very attractive." He said. I smiled, and finally he looked at me over his sunglasses. His jaw dropped a little but he closed it very quickly.

"Well, that was until I saw you." he said and smiled.

I blushed even harder. "Oh shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about." I said.

"Actually, I do. Why don't you go have a swim, take your clothes off?" he smirked.

"No, I'm studying." I said.

"I dare you."

"To what, to study? Right on! I'm already winning!" I laughed.

"I dare you to be sexy. Ten bucks."

"That's not a dare anymore, it's a bet."

"Whatever, you wouldn't accept anyways."

I wasn't very confident about myself but I would never lose a bet against Malfoy. I still hated him, just not as much. I got up and bent towards him. Our faces were so close we could have kissed.

"You're on, jackass." I whispered.

I stood up and placed myself in front of him, hiding the sight from any other girl. I pulled my shirt over my head, shook my hair into place and let the shirt fall to the ground. Ginny screamed and laughed, while Malfoy was astonished. I took my time popping the button of my shorts and slid them down my legs. I picked up my clothes and threw them to his face. His jaw dropped again as he sat up to push the clothes away, keeping his attention on me. I ran to the water and slowly walked in. He got up and followed me, throwing my clothes and his glasses to the ground. When he reached me, he was still in shock. I threw some water at him and he snapped out.

"So, how was that?" I asked innocently.

"It was… just…" he was at loss for words.

"You owe me ten bucks, buster." I said.

"Fine. When we get out of the water." He said.

Ginny came to me. "What was that all about?" she screamed.

"Nothing, just a stupid bet with Malfoy." I laughed.

"Well, that was some sort of show you just put on." she said.

"Oh shush. I was winning ten Galleons." I said.

We kept laughing and screaming and throwing water at each other, and soon our whole year was in the water fight. Luna finally arrived but sat on the edge of the water, looking for some sort of creature I had never heard of. The fight when on and on, and I found myself confronted to Lavender. Everyone was too caught up in their actions to notice us.

"You're going to pay." she said.

Then she shoved my head under the water.


	9. Harry Potter

Chapter 9 – Harry Potter

I didn't have time to catch my breath. I struggled to get to the surface but she kept me underwater, and my lungs were burning for oxygen. I opened my mouth in a bad attempt to breathe but instead swallowed more water. Black dots started appearing in my eyes when she finally let go, but I couldn't swim back up. I was sinking, hoping to black out soon.

Just as I closed my eyes, strong arms circled around my waist and pulled me over the water, and I gasped for air. My eyes opened briefly. I caught a glimpse of blond hair and grey eyes. I got pulled to the sand and lay down. I coughed more water out, still breathing difficultly. Finally my sight was back: I could see Malfoy brushing the hair out of my eyes and asking me if I was alright. I nodded because my throat hurt so much I couldn't speak. Ginny screamed and Blaise and she rushed to my side, helping me stand up. I took a few steps then pushed them away.

"Really, guys, I'm fine. Don't sweat… it…" I said. I tripped suddenly, and passed out just as Malfoy caught me in his arms.

When I woke up I was in the hospital wing, Ginny at my side. She smiled weakly to me, before being pulled out of the way by Madam Pomfrey.

"Are you alright, dear? You gave me quite a fright. Really, who do they think they are, letting you swim in the lake? Nearly gets you killed, that's what I've always said… Ginny here told me you slipped and drowned, is that true?"

I stared at her and thought of Lavender's face when she drowned me. I wasn't a tattletale, and though I wanted Lavender to pay for this, I didn't spill it out.

"Yes, Ma'am, I slipped." I said.

"You should be more careful. I'm not going to keep you overnight, but I'll let you out in a few hours." she said. Then she left to get some medicine for my throat.

Ginny came back to me. "What happened, Hermione? Malfoy saved you, and he says he saw Lavender drown you."

"It's true" I whispered.

"Oh that bitch!" whispered Ginny, horrified.

She kept talking about how Lavender was going to die and that she, personally, would make her life a living hell. I started falling asleep again, and Ginny chuckled. She left after kissing my cheek.

Madam Pomfrey woke me up to tell me I could leave after she gave me dinner, and I did. She gave me some medicine for my throat. I was walking to my common room when I bumped into Harry.

"Hey" he simply said.

"Hi" I greeted back.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"I'm fine. Just a bit shaken." I said.

"I saw Malfoy drown you. I'm going to take him down tonight." he said. I nodded while thinking about my bed, then registered what he had just said.

"What?– No, no, Malfoy saved me! Lavender tried to drown me!" I screamed.

He looked at me suspiciously. "I don't believe you."

"It's true! Since when do you not believe your best friend?" I said.

"Since you walked into Potions with him half dressed. Since you started laughing at his jokes. Since you started hanging with him, dragging Ginny with you. Since you cried for him, since you undressed that way in front of him! What, you think I didn't see all the signs? I know you're together, don't deny it! You try to protect him by saying it's Lavender when you're just jealous of her! Just because she has Ron!" he yelled.

"What? How can you say these things? You know I hated him the second he called me a Mudblood! Ok, maybe we are a lot friendlier with each other, but who cares? The war's over! And how can you say Lavender is innocent when you've watched Ron go out with her, when you've watched them cheat on me! Some of the Slytherins have more compassion then you! And by the way, Ginny's the one who dragged me to them! So get out of my way and come back when you've thought about everything Ginny and I have said to you!" I yelled back.

I stormed to my dorm, not even crying for such a stupid discussion, but knowing I would hate myself for it later. I didn't even get to my bed; I just fell on the armchair. I started falling asleep with Harry's accusations still dancing in my head when Malfoy burst in the common room.

"Well, what do I see here! A half asleep Granger who didn't die today!" he said.

"Leave me alone, Malfoy. I just argued with Harry because of you." I said sleepily.

"Oh, do I hear new problems concerning the Golden Trio? Gossip, gossip, Reeta Skeeter would love this!" he said.

I didn't even answer because of how tired I was. I didn't know drowning could affect one so much. Yet I didn't want to sleep due to the fear of my nightmares haunting me again. But my eyes were closing and I couldn't even get to my room. Malfoy came beside me.

"Granger, do you want me to take you to bed?" he whispered.

"No, I think I'll sleep here, thank you." I answered.

"I'm sorry, I don't understand those words. I'll take it for a 'yes'." he said. He picked me up like I weighted a bunch of feathers and as I tried to get out of his grip, I realized something.

"Malfoy, you carried me to bed the other night, didn't you?" I said with my eyes closed. I could feel his soft breathing on my skin and his strong arms trying not to hurt me.

"I knew you would figure that out." he chuckled.

We got up the stairs and I cuddled up against his chest, yet I couldn't shake off the hatred I felt for him. He really had affected me all these years. I was just so disgusted about him, but not only. Intrigued and puzzled too.

_How can I do this if I hate him so much? And why does he act this way with me? Doesn't he hate me too?_

He dropped me on my bed and took off my shoes, leaving them the exact same way he had last time. Just as he was leaving I caught his arm.

"Malfoy?" I whispered.

He turned around. "Hm?"

I took a deep breath. "Thanks for saving my life."

He smiled.

"No problem."

This was the first night in a long time that I didn't have any dreams.


	10. Time flies

Chapter 10 – Time flies

The Sunday morning's sun was bright on my face, making me wake up from my night. I was fully rested and took my time to get out of bed. I had a cold shower to wash away the water of the lake and to refresh my body from the hotness of my bed. When I got out, I wrapped a towel around my body and realized I had forgotten my medicine in the common room last night. It was still early so I doubted anyone was awake. Besides, I didn't want to dress just yet. So I went down the stairs and to the armchair, when I heard a noise behind me.

"You know you're wearing just a towel, right?" said Malfoy behind me.

I turned to face him. "Yes, that's the point of not wanting to dress after a cold shower. Have you seen my medicine?"

He licked his lips. "Very sexy. I left your medicine on the table, with the money I owe you. Are you sure you don't want to take it off? We have plenty of time to… do things. We could just skip breakfast."

"Shut up, Malfoy. You've changed too much for me to believe it. I think I'm dreaming." I sighted.

"Maybe one day I'll prove to you that you're more than awake." he said.

"Sure, if you can even get that close to me when I'm conscious." I replied.

"Then I'll have to knock you unconscious."

"Then you won't be able to prove anything because I won't remember it."

I took a good look at him. He was wearing a light pair of jeans and a Batman t-shirt. His hair was all messy; it was his out-of-bed look, and he seemed fresh. His smell was the same as the perfume he was wearing on the train and it nearly brought me to knees.

I frowned. "What's with the Muggle clothes?"

"Ah, you see Granger, I had to spend my summer in a Muggle house to understand them. That's why I know what it's like to be one, and why I started acting like one. I like them a lot, actually. They're very interesting." he said. "As for the Batman t-shirt, I have become very fond of superheroes, though I relate more to Iron Man."

My jaw dropped. Literally. "You spent your summer with a Muggle family?"

"Oh yeah, I've learned a lot about their culture. I read lots of books, I saw lots of movies, I saw lots of series, I listened to lots of music! It was fun. Hey, do you know how to cook spaghetti?"

I blinked. "Uh, yeah, I know how to cook it."

"Good, cause I just can't get enough of it." he said.

"But you'll have to give me a good reason to make some for you." I said before going to my room to get dressed.

A few minutes later I was having breakfast, thinking about Batman and Iron Man and lessons. I spent the day sitting under a tree, doing my homework, Luna reading the Quibbler and Ginny doing tricks with her broomstick. Apparently Harry had stopped speaking to Ron after Lavender had drowned me, and Lavender and Ron had had a screaming match. They were still together but irritated with each other. I smiled to myself when learning the news.

Minutes became hours, hours became days, days became weeks, and in a snap of my fingers three months had passed, during which I had learnt a lot about Quidditch, Nargles and Malfoy. I spent every spare moment with a friend, and even Neville would sometimes be very good company. I went to lots of Ginny's practices, I explored with Luna, I helped Neville with his homework and I spoke to Malfoy between classes with Ginny and Blaise. I had forgotten about Ron, Harry and my nightmares. Even my parents noticed my happiness through my letters.

On a snowy Saturday morning I got ready to go to Hogsmeade with Ginny, who wanted to take me shopping for the party that was happening that night in the Room of Requirement. I wasn't too enthusiastic because I wasn't a party-person, but I accepted to go anyways, for Ginny.

She pulled me to the best shop of the town for a dress and high heels. When inside, she picked like ten dresses and threw them to me, telling me to go to the changing cabins. I did. The first dress was made of black leather. It was strapped in a cross at the back and let most of my back show. It went a few inches over my knees.

"Well?" asked a very impatient Ginny.

"I uh… no." I said.

"Well show me!" she cried.

I mumbled and "ok" and pushed the curtain. Ginny raised her eyebrows, and I turned around. She frowned.

"Definitely not. Too sexy." she said. I closed the curtain and changed into another dress. This one was pink and puffy and I looked like a meringue. I showed it to Ginny who burst into giggles.

"Nope. Another one" she said. The next one was ruffled and bright red, and it lifted when I turned. It was for flamenco.

"Well, unless you're planning on dancing flamenco with someone, this one won't be necessary." she said. The one I put on after was bright blue and shiny. It curved my body very well and it was strapped around my neck.

"I think we're getting somewhere…" said Ginny, then gave me a pair of dark blue heels. She frowned again. "No, that's not right, wait…"

She disappeared between the racks of dresses and came back with the exact same one but in a velvety dark blue. It was beautiful. It did not only make me sexy and attractive, it made me beautiful and cute all at once. And the heels were a perfect match. It only cost twenty Galleons, and I paid with the money I had won from Malfoy. It was so totally mine.

We got back to the castle and I took Ginny and Luna to my room to get ready. They were supposed to sleep in my room that night. Ginny did my hair while Luna did my makeup, which stayed very simple. My hair was up in a weird bun and only a few curls fell on my shoulders and in my neck. I helped both girls with their hair. At 9 p.m., when went to the party. The room appeared easily and we went in, excited and nervous.


	11. My mistake

Chapter 11 – My mistake

I felt like the lights were going to reprogram my brain, and the music was going to send me to heaven. In the back of the room was the bar, with the punch and alcohol, in the middle was the dance floor and a few people sat on the chairs in the corners. Couples were snogging and I felt a strike of pain rush through my heart, but it was so brief I thought I had imagined it. The room was hot and in no time I was gasping for air at the window. The sky was the same beautiful one I had cried for that night but I was so happy and strong I felt like nothing could take my feelings away. I turned around to watch Ginny dance with Luna, when another flash of red hair caught my eye.

Ron was walking straight at me.

I turned around in an attempt to flee, when I ran into the one and only Draco Malfoy.

"Move." I hissed at him.

"Well there sexy, why are you in such a hurry? Come on, have a drink, relax!" he laughed.

"Move!" I said again.

"Hermione!" yelled Ron over the music. I turned around and backed away into Malfoy, keeping my eyes on Ron. Malfoy frowned as I crushed my body against his, keeping a distance between my ex-boyfriend and myself.

"Are you trying to get away from him?" he whispered in my ear.

My voice was barely audible. "Yes…"

"Hermione." Ron said as he reached me, and I stared at the floor.

"What do you want, Ronald?" I said. Malfoy stayed silent for once.

"Well, I was wondering… You see, I dumped Lavender, so I was wondering if you wanted to…" he said, eyeing my dress. Anger burst out in my entire body.

"Forget it, weasel , she's with somebody else." said Malfoy. I glanced up, surprised, to see Ron still checking me out.

"What Ron, you thought I was going to fall back in your arms so easily? After everything you did to me? After the way you treated me and every other girl you've been with? Forget it, asshole. I hate you more than I've hated anybody else!" I screamed at him. He was astonished. I ran to the bar where Firewhiskey shots were being served and had one down the hatch. The barman laughed. I went to see Ginny and danced with her. More alcohol was spreading in my system and everything was becoming a blur. I danced with anybody, and it seemed like boys were taking advantage of that. I made my way to the bar for another glass when Malfoy appeared, looking concerned.

"Why don't you let me have this one?" he asked sweetly while trying to take the glass from me.

"No!" I said while turning back to the dance floor. I was dancing with Ginny and boys were eyeing us. I started taking off her clothes and she took off mine, both of us laughing and dancing, and I felt somebody's hands on my butt. I turned around to see who it was, when I felt like I was passing out. I had moved too quickly. Everything went black and I fell to the floor. I woke up two seconds later, when Blaise was holding me up, telling me to not fall asleep.

"I like sleep" I giggled stupidly.

"Not now. You need to stay conscious." He said. Ginny was still alive and Luna was snatching a drink from her. She wasn't as gone as I was, but she was drunk. I couldn't feel my legs and I was happy Blaise was there.

"Come on Blaise, let me sleep now…" I whined.

"Malfoy! Will you help me here!" he yelled at Malfoy, who was whispering to Astoria. He took one look at me and ran over. Blaise threw me in his arms in time to catch Ginny, who lost her balance. Malfoy dragged me out of the room and to our dorm.

"I don't need your help!" I said to him at the bottom of the stairs, pushing him away. I tried lifting my leg but tumbled on the step. He caught my arm and pulled me to my feet.

"I think you do." He said quietly. While walking he kept taking to me so I wouldn't fall asleep just yet. We got to the dorm and he carried me up to my room.

"Where's Ginny?" I asked him.

"She's going to sleep in the common room. She can't come up, Luna will stay with her. Stop worrying." he said.

"Don't talk so much…" I said while he gently placed me on the bed. I started giggling.

"What's so funny?" he asked.

"Brad is telling me that he had fish for lunch." I said between two breaths. He glanced at my poster and smiled. He took off my shoes and left my room. I fell asleep.

_He had done it again. He had cheated on me. Again. I waited for another dumb explanation, for another lie. I swallowed them like nothing, I just loved him so much. But what came out of his mouth made me sick._

_"I'm sorry, Hermione, it just can't work between us. I found my love, my real one. Lavender is better than you. At least she'll have sex with me!" said Ron._

_I was dumbfounded. I couldn't speak. I didn't even cry. I stood there, motionless, empty. Ron kissed Lavender._

_"I love you…" he whispered to her._

_The night was cold and clear. Every star in the sky was visible. I ran away into the forest, past the river and into the fields, where the moon was so bright I was blinded. Tears finally started rolling down my cheeks. I was crying. I let everything out. I climbed on a tree, so high, and stood up to balance on it. It was the frontier between my life and death. One more step and I was gone forever. But I didn't want to leave. I just wanted to feel in danger._

_The memories changed. Everything bad that ever happened to me spilled into my dreams._

_"Mudblood!" yelled Bellatrix, carving the letters in my skin._

_"Mudblood!" yelled Malfoy. _

_"You don't know what it's like!" Malfoy kept screaming._

I woke up screaming. I tried moving but somebody was pinning me to my bed. I was crying hard, tried to punch the person out of my way but she/he was stronger.

"Calm down!" whispered Malfoy. "Calm down… It's just a bad dream. Wake up, Granger, everything's fine. You're safe. Come on, wake up!" he said desperately.

I opened my eyes to stare into his grey ones. I calmed down instantly. I started crying again, kicking myself for waking him up and making him see me break down.

"Don't cry. Look, you're fine. It was just a nightmare. Calm down." he said. I stopped crying after a few minutes and closed my eyes. I felt him let me go and get off of me. He must have thought I was asleep and tried to leave when I caught his arm. He jumped.

"Don't go." I said with my eyes still closed. I didn't want to see him; I didn't want to believe it was him. I just needed somebody. I told myself to pretend he was anybody else. I was in denial. Yet I pulled him to the bed. He sighted and lay down next to me. I let him go and tried not to touch him. I fell asleep trying to convince myself that Ginny was the one next to me.


	12. The next morning

Chapter 12 – The next morning

_Who's in my bed? Why?_

A strong arm was holding me tight. I could feel his body pressed against mine under the covers, and I figured he must have gotten cold during the night. He breathed softly in my neck and I didn't dare turning around to face him, whoever he was. I stared in front of me, lying on my right side, looking outside at the bright sun shining on the windowsill. I closed my eyes to try to fall asleep again when I realized I was hot. And I was pressed against hot skin. His bare chest was molded in my back, and we fit perfectly together. I was still dressed which meant I didn't get laid. So why was there a guy in my bed? Curiosity killed me and I slowly turned around.

_Malfoy?_

I didn't want to wake him (it was Sunday morning after all) so I slid out of his embrace and reached for the bathroom door. I changed out of my dress and into a pair of shorts and a Quidditch sweater and decided to have breakfast. My head was throbbing like hell as I stumbled down the stairs and I let myself fall in an armchair. I felt really sick.

"Ow!" yelled Ginny underneath me. I bounced off of her.

"Gin? I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to sit on you! Why are you here?" I asked. Something snapped in my mind and I remembered.

"Oh shit, the sleepover. We'll have to do a real one another time Where's Luna?" I asked again. But Ginny was fast asleep again. Luna appeared to be in the other armchair. I went up to Malfoy's room to see Blaise sleeping in the bed. I smiled. I walked back to my room difficultly and collapsed on my sheets, next to Malfoy. I slept for another hour or two when Malfoy's voice woke me up.

"Of fuck!" he whispered. I opened my eyes. I was sprawled on my back, my sweater revealing my stomach, my right arm extended over my head and my shorts twisted all wrong. Malfoy's arm was tightened around my body again and the touch of our skins felt wonderful. He was staring at me with huge eyes. I jerked away from him.

"Stop staring!" I said while tugging my shirt back into place. He was still staring and not blinking, and I got scared. "Malfoy?" I whispered. "Malfoy! Wake up!" I said. "Malfoy!" I finally snapped.

"Oh!" he said, and looked up to meet my eyes. He smirked.

"What?" I said.

"Nothing!" he answered.

"Why are you in my bed anyway?" I whined.

"Don't you remember? Oh, it was awesome. You were totally drunk and you started kissing me. We were both on fire. I brought you back up here and we had the best night ever. Don't you remember screaming 'Oh, Draco, yes! Oh, faster!' ?" he laughed. I frowned at him. "Whatever."

I ready and went down to breakfast. He was waking Blaise up. Ginny and Luna were already there, excited and laughing.

"Hermione! We've got to go back to Hogsmeade!" Ginny giggled as I sat on the bench.

"What?" I breathed.

"There's a ball next Thursday. The Winter ball." She said.

"Oh no, that party was enough for me, thank you. I'll pass."

"You need to go. You're a Head, McGonagall is going to be furious if you don't."

"Yeah, well, she would be furious if she knew what happened last night. Awesome way of starting our vacations. A hangover." I said while grabbing my coffee. A Ravenclaw boy passed behind me. "Hey Granger, want to dance like that again for me? Grrr." He winked.

I sighted. "See what I mean? Whatever, do you know why Malfoy was in my bed this morning?"

_Wrong question._

"WHAT?" yelled Luna and Ginny at the same time. Both smiled and gaped at me. "Girl, you have to tell us everything." said Ginny.

"Oooh my sexy little Gryffindor, won't you take your clothes off tonight in our common room?" said a Hufflepuff next to me. I pushed him away. As more boys teased me on my last night's 'performance', I could notice Malfoy frowning at the most handsome ones. I turned away from the Slytherin table, and back to the girls.

"Um… I think I might have had hallucinations this morning. You know. Alcohol." I said while staring at my toast.

"Yeah right." said Ginny.

"Honestly girls, I don't remember anything from last night. If I do, I'll tell you."

"You'd better or you'll regret it." said both Luna and Ginny at the same time. We burst into giggles. We finished our breakfast slowly and took our time back to the common room. I felt a wave of dizziness in a corridor and told the girls to keep walking. When they turned out of sight, I finally was able to regain myself and dashed behind them but didn't go very far. I slammed into a wall.

_There wasn't a pile of bricks there before._

I looked up to find Malfoy glancing down at me, smirking.

"Still getting over all the Firewhiskey last night, Granger?" he chuckled. I raised an eyebrow.

"I can handle much more, ferret."

"I don't think so."

"Aren't you getting tired of losing bets against me, Malfoy?" I asked.

"I never get tired of handing them out, Granger." He answered.

"Good, now you can go find someone else to play with." I snapped.

"You are much more interesting to challenge."

I rolled my eyes. "And you exhaust me."

"But you didn't sleep that well last night, didn't you?" he asked

"Of course I couldn't, you were breathing down my neck."

"Pity. You're the one who asked me to stay."

I stared confusingly at him. "I don't remember."

For a second I thought I registered hurt in his eyes, but it left as quickly as it came. I shook it off and pushed him away, shaking my head all the way to my common room.


	13. Shattered

Chapter 13 – Shattered

The last thing I wanted was Malfoy on my back and I avoided him all week-end. I hated doing this because we were both Heads and by rules, we were supposed to talk to each other, but I couldn't bring myself to. Each time I saw him in a corridor, his eyes would flash at my sight and an overwhelming guilt of not remembering Friday night would course through my veins. I would slip into an empty classroom, even in secret passage ways just to avoid him. At meals he would just stare at me intensely, making me uncomfortable and wince at his sight. On Monday night, I was walking to the portrait hole to meet Neville and Luna for homework when a muscled and snow white arm blocked my way.

_Not now, please. Just let me go._

Malfoy placed himself in front of me and pushed me up against the wall. "What are you playing at?" he whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

I could notice him getting angrier and looked away, tears starting to form in my eyes.

"Look at me!" he snapped. "What are you playing at?"

I was a bit shaken by his order and pulled myself together. "Malfoy," I said steadily "What did I do?"

He backed away, surprised, and stared at me.

"I don't remember at all what happened Friday night." I said quietly. He seemed to register my words and took a deep breath as if to say something, but didn't. He turned away from me.

"I just… fell asleep next to you. Nothing really important. There's nothing you should feel guilty about."

"Right." I answered to the wall after a moment, because Malfoy was already hidden in his room, away from me.

My meeting with Luna and Neville was useless. I was lost in my thoughts and my concentration was so bad Neville asked if I wanted to lie down.

I didn't want to lie down. I wanted to be a little girl again, I wanted to remember what happened Friday night. I wanted to be a little girl so that I wouldn't be old enough to go to a party ever again, so that the innocence of childhood would take over my soul, so that I could control my feelings and my acts. I always thought twice before doing something, so why did I go overboard that night? What happened to the Hermione who was scared of breaking the rules? My mind was screaming so many questions I couldn't answer, and so many answers I didn't want to hear.

_The nightmares…_

I blinked.

_Ron…_

As his eyes and hair formed on thin air in front of me, I shook my head.

_Malfoy…_

I sprang from my chair, making the books and quills in front of me fall from the table. Luna and Neville jumped and glanced at me with concern written all over their faces.

"I just... I'm sorry, I've got to go…" I mumbled quickly.

I ran as fast as I could to the edge of the forest, past Hagrid's house, past the lake and into the trees. The first sob was hard to get out, but then it all spilled out easily. Where was my mom to stroke my hair? Where was my dad to bake my "happiness cake"? Where were they to punish the boy who had dared messing me up again? I hated everything, everyone, the whole world was a joke to me in that moment. Distant blurry memories of Friday came slowly to me, and the feelings I had had slammed into me, knocking me to the ground. I just lay there, motionless and crazy about a nightmare.

But I was crying so hard I hadn't noticed Harry in front of me. He dropped the Invisibility Cloak to the ground, and stared at me with huge eyes. He didn't say a word. Then, we both moved and suddenly, we were holding each other. I buried my face in his chest and gripped the back of his clothes while he held me tight against him. I fell apart once more. But this time, he was here. He wasn't with Ron and Lavender.

"I'm sorry, Hermione. I'm so sorry…" he whispered.

I calmed down and loosened my grip on him, my embarrassed face still hidden in his flesh. He let go of me but squeezed my hand. Hard. Just to let me know he was here. To let me know that he wouldn't let me down. The weight on my shoulders lifted and we started walking towards the castle, holding the Invisibility Cloak. I kept my eyes on the ground. At one point I seemed to have heard a grunt and turned around, but my imagination had played with me again. Nobody was there.

Harry and I finally got in my dorm (which was empty) and he walked me up to my room. He opened his mouth to say something but I cut him off.

"Don't. Don't ruin it."

He looked away, towards my bookshelf, and drew a book out. He flipped through the pages as I sat on my bed to take my shoes off. I lay down. He sat on the edge of the mattress with the book still in his hands. I closed my eyes.

"Please read it to me…" I whispered.

I think he smiled. He sat comfortably next to me and drew a breath. Then he started reading.

It was The Sign On Rosie's Door.

As the book took form in his voice I felt myself becoming a little girl again. But this time, it wasn't my dad reading the book to me. It was Harry, my best friend, who managed to make me feel better without even knowing what was wrong. I remembered the long nights I spent with a lamp under my sheets, reading books till past midnight. The best part was the fear of knowing that if I got caught, my mother would get very mad. But who cared? The words were beautiful, each page was a treasure. It was worth the danger. I guess that's where I had got the taste for trouble from.

I was slipping away into the most beautiful dreams I had ever had, and I heard Harry shut the book. He kissed my cheek and tiptoed out of the room. I heard him talk with somebody but he closed the door shut, keeping me out of the conversation. I fell into the dream I knew was coming. And it was amazing.

After hours of my memories in my mind, I woke up to find Ginny sitting in the chair, looking over me.


	14. The Avengers

Chapter 14 – The Avengers

Ginny had a dark face. She didn't speak, nor did she take her eyes away from me. She hardly blinked. She waited patiently for me to sit before she started to speak.

"Do you have nightmares?"

Her voice was edgy and rough. Something close to fear shot through me. She didn't move. She just sat there, speaking every word with darkness in her voice.

"It's something you can't get away from, can you, Hermione? It haunts you every night. Yet you find the way to hide it from all of us."

I didn't answer. I couldn't. She knew everything I went through.

"He hears you screaming in your worst nights."

I blinked. What was she talking about?

"Who?" I whispered to myself, but she heard me. She didn't smile, she didn't answer my question.

"He doesn't want to help you because he's scared."

She moved slightly. "That night, Hermione, it was worst." she whispered.

I froze. "I just had the most beautiful dream." I whispered back.

"Did you, now? Do you even remember it?"

She had hit me at my weak point. I never remembered my dreams. Just the nightmares. So why didn't I remember the one I had Friday night if it was that bad? The good in my heart from the nap I just had was still making me happy, but now Ginny was opening another part of me. The stress, the fear.

"Why are you doing this?" I said weakly.

"You need to remember what's good, Hermione. Not what's bad." She said while lifting herself from the chair. "Get a grip."

"On what?" I asked. But she had already left. I wanted to trail after her but I felt weak. I slowly got out of bed, shivering in the cold, but didn't pull any clothes over me. I realized I was just wearing a t-shirt and my underwear. I figured Ginny must have stripped me out of my jeans because there was no way in hell Harry would have done it.

Ginny's words were still ringing in my ears when I stumbled out of my room. What did she mean? 'Get a grip'? Seriously? I was lost in thoughts and found myself standing in front of Malfoy's room. I didn't feel like going anywhere else, so I just knocked.

"Come in…"

I pushed the door open. Posters were covering every inch of wall possible. There were Metallica, Tron, Muse, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Iron Man, The Matrix posters everywhere. More pictures of Quidditch or other Muggle interests were hanging too. His room was in a huge mess, clothes thrown everywhere and books stacked in a corner or lying under his bed, CDs half-opened and papers scrupled on the floor.

Malfoy himself was lying on the bed, facing a TV where he was watching The Avengers. He was shirtless and his pants were unbuttoned. He didn't seem to want to move. The bed was unmade. A cup of coffee was still steaming on his bedside but he didn't reach for it. His hair was a mess too and he looked very tired.

"What do you want, Granger?" he asked without taking his eyes of the screen.

"Company." I answered quickly.

"Where's Potter?" he said bitterly. I didn't want to deal with this now so I turned to the movie.

"How did you make the TV function? Electricity doesn't work in the castle." I said, changing the subject.

He rolled his eyes. "Found out how to make it work on magic. Same thing for the radio and all kinds of other stuff."

Thor and Iron Man seemed to have been stopped in their fight by Captain America, and Malfoy grumbled.

"Seriously, why did he have to interfere? They were doing great without him, sheesh." he said. I laughed. Finally, his grey eyes looked up at me. "Do you want to watch the rest of it with me?"

I nodded and sat on the bed next to him. He handed me the sheets so I could cover myself and stop shivering. After 15 minutes into the movie, Loki still had the Tesseract, Iron man was being a perfect double of Malfoy and I was still cold.

"I see why you love Tony Stark so much, Malfoy." I smiled.

He smirked. "Why? Because he's amazing, rich, handsome and funny? Not my type to date, sweetheart, sorry."

"Oh yeah, what is your type?" I asked. _What do I care?_

He smiled. "You'd like to know that, wouldn't you, Granger?"

I blushed as a chill went down my spine. I didn't know if it was because of the cold or because of his smile. It confused me.

"So, why do I like him?" he said.

"Because you act so much like him." I said.

"And do you like him?" he asked. The question took me off guard, and I stared blankly at the screen. I looked slowly at him.

"I might…" I whispered. He blinked and extended his arm towards me. I cuddled up to his side, my head on his chest and his arm stroking gently my shoulder. His body heat radiated on me and I was instantly relieved. It felt weird, being this close for so long to him. And I liked it. I started drawing symbols on his stomach with the tip of my fingers and I could feel him shiver under my touch. His arm went down to my waist and he pulled me closer. I hugged him tighter.

And I swore I never wanted to let go.


	15. The Dress

Chapter 15 – The Dress

There was something odd in my heart. I felt… not empty, but something close to that. I felt at peace. Nothing troubled me. Nothing affected me deeply. Of course, I did cry for sad scenes, but it didn't hurt me like it used to. Malfoy and I watched movie after movie, into the darkest hours of the night and until the early hours of the morning. During the night, we snuck to the kitchens to get some food. He tried keeping a straight face but I kept giggling like a young teenager. I was wearing a pair of pants he had lent me and I kept tripping and falling hard onto the floor. We brought the food into his room and ate it in front of Mean Girls. Titanic, Shaun of the Dead, The Usual Suspects, Pirates of the Caribbean, Cinderella, and loads more Disneys went into the dvd player. Oh, we had fun. I didn't want to move because I just felt so good. His fingers trailed to my bare legs, and it tickled so much I had a laughing fit. He noticed and attacked me with all his strength.

"Stop it!" I screamed between two breaths. He placed himself over me and took control of me, tickling every possible place he knew was my weak spot. _How does he know? _Had he seen Harry, Ron and Ginny tickle me? He actually noticed?

I tried pushing him away but he was way too strong. He gripped my hands and pinned them to the bed. I stopped laughing and widened my eyes, a small smile still playing on my lips. He bent down slowly towards me, making the tips of our noses touch, and I blushed. He smirked and stopped there, enjoying the moment. Our breaths were hot against each other's mouths, his smell was absolutely overwhelming. I had a distant reminder of the train, when I had fallen asleep on him, and remembered how much I actually hated him. His hair fell beautifully over his cold eyes that seemed like they were getting hotter. His muscled chest twitched and I bit my lip to stifle a gasp.

_This can't be right? Is this really happening? Why is he doing this? Why am I doing this?_

I thousand feelings rushed through me: a mix of uncertainty, love, hate and fear. His eyes reflected my feelings and it seemed like a memory also reached his brain. He looked troubled. He pulled away just a few centimeters, god knows why.

_This isn't happening._

I took advantage of that second of weakness in him and pushed him over to his side of the bed, finally sitting over him.

"Ha!" I yelled in a moment of absolute control. I think he let out a sigh of relief and laughed. He pushed me away and I fell to his side, giggling softly until my chuckles finally died, halfway into the movie. This time he rested his head on my belly and everything was back to 'normal'.

I decided to push our fight away from my head but I could still feel his nose touching mine, his breath on my lips and his body crushed against mine. He was arousing in every way and I couldn't concentrate on the glass slipper that had just fallen on the stairs, behind Cinderella. What surprised me is that I didn't even find it disgusting, the way we played like that. I just wanted more.

Around 6 am I dragged myself to my bed, too exhausted to realize I was cold from missing Malfoy's touch. The night was very short, and when Luna came to wake me up it felt like seconds had passed since I'd closed my eyes. She casually jumped on my bed and her blond hair fell in waves around her shoulders.

"Hermione! Wake up! We're going to Hogsmeade!" she said.

I grumped and turned around, hiding my face in the cushions.

"Come on, Hermione! Wake up!" she giggled.

I ignored her, trying to get a few minutes of sleep. I heard steps enter my room, and Luna shifted her weight on me. A male voice I knew too well drawled in my ears.

"Having trouble, Granger?"

Malfoy had just come out of the shower and he was drying his hair with a towel, sending drips of water everywhere as he shook his head. Luna laughed and wiped her face.

"I see our Gryffindor Princess can't handle long nights!" he chuckled. I growled in my sheets and sat up. Luna cheered.

"Oh finally! Ginny is going to be pissed, we're already late!" she said. She threw some clothes at me. "Come on, 'Mione, you have ten minutes." she said while backing out of my room. Malfoy followed her, and they started talking about the ball.

I had a quick shower and nearly fell asleep under the water. I pulled the clothes over me, cursing whoever invented long, sleepless nights. Luna was waiting for me in the common room, smiling stupidly at something Malfoy had said. She seemed in another world. I skipped down the stairs joyfully. Malfoy looked up at me, smiled, and went into his room. Luna caught my hand and pulled me to the Gryffindor common room where Ginny was waiting for us. I smiled weakly at her, remembering yesterday afternoon. Ginny frowned at us for being late, but had her usual smile all the same. She avoided the subject of yesterday and it was better for all of us. It was like nothing had ever happened.

We raced down the path to Hogsmeade, taking advantage of the fact that we were still young enough to do it. We tried a few shops, some of them we already knew, but none seemed right. Finally, in the last store Luna found a bright yellow dress that was all fluffy and Ginny a laced blue one that went so well with her hair. We looked for me but it was all wrong. They were picking out shoes while I was sitting on a chair next to the window when I noticed a very old shop on the other side of the road.

The paint was peeling off the walls and the windows were cracked. Books were stacked up behind the glass and old curtains were drawn to the side. Everything about it was intriguing, old, and mysteriously beautiful. A dark melancholy hung around it and it seemed hopelessly alive, yet dead at the same time.

I glanced up to my friends who were laughing over a necklace. My decision was made: I picked up my jacket and slowly walked out the door. The road was easy to cross and soon I was pushing the creaky door open. A smell of lavender and old perfumes overwhelmed me and it was beautiful. I looked around. Nobody seemed to be there. I strolled around the shop, not touching but taking note of every detail. After a minute or two, I picked up an old book and buried my nose into it. It was old literature; beautiful words making me want to cry. I sat on the old rug to get comfortable. I don't know how much time I spent reading, but the shop owner appeared suddenly in front of me.

She was an old woman who made me think of my grandmother. She smiled kindly at me offered her hand so I could stand up.

"Ah, Shakespeare!" she sighted, "surprising that such a young woman like you would like that old book, and it's a muggle one!"

Her voice was soft and warm and I loved her the minute she said the author's name.

"I'm a muggle-born who loves reading" I said sheepishly.

She smiled again and chuckled. "You don't have to be embarrassed about it, dear. You're one of a kind. Were you looking for something?" she asked.

"Well, I spotted your shop from that one over there" I pointed the other side of the road where Ginny and Luna were, if they hadn't gone back to the castle. "I was looking for a dress… But your shop is just so… perfect." I whispered.

"Thank you dear… But you know, I may be able to help you with the dress." She said as she pulled me to the back of the shop. "I have a few old ones here and I'm sure one is bound to fit you…"

She gestured me to look into a trunk.

"Have fun, dear, I will be at the counter. Call me if you have any problems."

As soon as she left I dug into the old fabrics. I closed my eyes. I just wanted to feel the dress, not see it. My fingers touched silk, velvet and lace and I couldn't decide which was best. Finally, I came to something soft and perfect. I pulled it out and hugged it to my chest, walking over to the cabins. I slowly took my clothes off and pulled it on. And then I looked at myself in the mirror.

It was amazingly gorgeous. It was creamy white and laced in front, as a corset. The skirts gave volume to the dress and made my legs look thinner. It went to my knees. A single ribbon kept the corset together and only a tug on it revealed my breasts. But there was no need for that tug, wasn't there? I looked like a porcelain doll. My hair fell in curls on my shoulders and back. It was definitely old and the one I wanted. It was different. It was my true self.

The woman's voice made me jump out of my trance. "How is it, dear?"

I couldn't find my voice. I couldn't speak. So I figured I should just show her. As I pushed the curtain and stepped out of the cabin, the doorbell jingled and the shop owner said "Why, hello mister Malfoy!"


	16. Something More

Chapter 16 - Something More

_No._

I don't know why I didn't want him to see it. I thought I could surprise him at the ball, maybe. Why would I want to surprise him? But now it was screwed.

His eyes widened at my sight and the shop owner smiled. His mouth fell open; he seemed at a loss for words. He couldn't take his gaze off of me. The old woman came forward an adjusted it in my back and turned around to look at me. I blushed.

"Aren't you beautiful, oh, will you just look at her!" she chuckled. I stared at the floor, my cheeks burning red.

"Mister Malfoy, tell her how beautiful she looks!" she went on. I suddenly looked up as he took a step closer to me.

"You look… gorgeous…" he whispered. He was standing so close yet he didn't touch me, as if he were scared I would disappear. "You look… utterly beautiful…" he breathed on my cheek. I didn't find it disgusting at all. I attracted me even more to him.

I looked up into his eyes shyly, and at once I knew it was a huge mistake. Suddenly, I was drowning. Too many emotions came crashing onto me. I was holding my breath for too long and it was hard gasping for it. I couldn't see him anymore, I was overcome by memories and feelings.

_Mudbloods_

_Punching him hard in the face_

_Those grey eyes_

_Mint breath, cold skin, bare chests_

_Bed games_

_White shirts and late classes_

_A nightmare_

_Friday night_

_A single kiss…_

I blinked and gasped, and it was over.

"So there wasn't only a nightmare…" I whispered against his lips, because he had bent down towards me and was staring intently into my eyes.

He paused. "There was something more…"

"A kiss…" I said quietly. I shut my eyes, trying to remember the feeling of him against me. Slowly, I grasped the missing piece of the puzzle and put it into place. And the memory terrorized me.

Draco Malfoy had kissed me to wake me up from my nightmare.

I felt him getting closer and closer yet I didn't move. I didn't pull away. His lips were barely touching mine, just the slightest tips in contact and I was already gone into bliss. But it didn't last long.

The shop's door slammed open.

Blaise Zabini walked into the shop. Malfoy straightened up and pulled away, leaving me confused and hurt. He seemed truly furious with his best friend for breaking our moment. He turned around to face him and I took that moment. The shop owner looked weakly at me and I ran away from Malfoy, hiding in behind the curtain of the cabin. I heard him yelp in surprise when realizing I wasn't behind him anymore. He argued with Blaise. I didn't listen.

They left after a while, and I was so confused. I changed back into my clothes. I knew what would have happened if Blaise hadn't barged into the shop, looking for his best friend. But was I really ready for this? I didn't know. I didn't know anything, and for the first time of my life I was scared. No book would ever help me through this, no simple spell or explanation. Because even if I had lived worse moments during the war, I always knew what to do.

And I hated Malfoy for making me so weak. I couldn't concentrate on anything because he was always in the back of my mind, making me gooey inside and turning my brain turn to marshmallow. How could everything have changed so fast? I went from hating every part of him to wanting him so badly it hurt. I was so frustrated.

Without really thinking I paid for the dress and walked back to the castle. I didn't speak to the old woman, except for saying an embarrassed "Thank you." I dropped the dress on my bed and pulled out my dad's old basketball shirt, feeling the comfort of it. And just as I was remembering the smell, an owl tapped on my window. My parents had written yet another letter.

_Dear Hermione,_

_The ball is going to be awesome! Are you sure you're going to manage all those young students? Especially with the Head Boy? Who are you going with? Is he nice? Will we get to meet him?_

_How are you? We want to know if you bought a dress and proper clothes for the event. Your mother wants a picture with your date. And she says that you should wear your hair up, and those smokey eyes Ginny does so well. _

_As for me, I want you to look after boys, alright? Be careful. If anything happens, go straight to a teacher. Then write to me. And I swear I'll kick anybody's ass. (I enclosed a galleon for the swear words I just said, by the way. Just check the envelope.)_

_We love you!_

_Your dad who misses you._

I nearly let a few tears drop as I read my dad's words. I missed them too. But I composed myself, not letting anything get out. I was a Gryffindor, I was brave and strong. And I was going to see them soon.

It was time for dinner and I made my way down the stairs. Malfoy came down at the same time as I did. We ignored each other and I bit my lip to keep anything from coming out. If I said anything it would all get worse. We walked in a tense silence. Ginny had saved a seat for me, but just as I went her way, Harry appeared in front of me and Malfoy nearly slammed into my body as I stopped abruptly.

"Harry!" I said, surprised.

"Hey, Hermione. I had a question for you."

"Sure, go ahead" I smiled.

Malfoy growled behind me and walked around us, to his table.

"Will you go to the ball with me?" asked Harry.

Malfoy stopped dead on his tracks and turned to face us. His scowl was hard to hide even if he tried.

"Um… Sure. Just as friends, right?" I said while staring at Malfoy with a _What's your problem? _face.

"Yeah of course, just as friends!" he answered matter-of-factly. He smiled broadly and went next to Dean while I opened my mouth to say something at the blond Slytherin, but he just stormed off to his table. Disappointed, I walked to the Gryffindor table.

As soon as I set my butt on the bench, Ginny proceeded to ask me where the hell I had been all afternoon.

"I found a bookstore." I mumbled.

"Hermione Granger, you were supposed to look for a dress! The ball is in three days!" she said.

"I found one!" I snapped back. By the look on her face I knew I had done wrong. "Sorry Gin, I just… you know. Mood swings."

"You've got your period, right?" said Luna. I hadn't even noticed she was there. I smiled weakly at her. "Yeah. That's it."

Ginny was having a hard time believing the fake smile I had painted on my face so I concentrated on my food and pushed it around on my plate. I had lost my appetite. Then a flash of blond hair caught my attention. Malfoy was getting up from his bench and walked absent-mindedly out the doors of the Great Hall. I sighted, kissed Ginny quickly on the cheek and followed him. We had to talk.

He turned a few corners until he disappeared from my sight. I tried looking for him, but in this corridor he would be hard to find. At last I heard some urgent whispers and I went to check it out.

Yet once he got into my sight, I regretted it so badly. Suddenly, I wanted to run away as far as I could.

He was kissing the living dead out of Astoria Greengrass.


	17. Smile

Chapter 17 - Smile

I wanted to scream.

I couldn't. Everything was a blur. I clapped a hand over my mouth in shock. I didn't cry but I felt the tears streaming down my cheeks. No, I wasn't overwhelmed by sobs. Yes, I was quiet and stoned until he left, pushing Astoria away and leaving her alone. And finally, even then, I didn't let my emotions burst out.

I was empty.

A cracked shell was the only thing I had become. It took half a second to realize that he had kissed me friday night . Half a second for him to kiss someone else. A whole second for me to break down once more. And I hated every inch of myself.

I was breathing heavily and I let myself slide down the wall, seeking support for my wobbly legs. I was worse than horrible. I stifled my sobs and bit my tongue to keep myself from screaming. It tasted like blood. Astoria hadn't seen me and walked to the Slytherin common room, all smiles. I wasn't even strong enough to punch her in the face.

After an hour or two I got up, still shaken, and dragged myself to my dorm. And he was there. He was sitting in an armchair, reading a book. Or so he tried to make me believe. He was staring blankly at the pages and he wasn't turning them. It was hard to contain my anger. He looked like an innocent little angel and I hated every second of his act.

"How's the book?" I asked tensely.

He eyes focused on my face. "It's… good. Very good."

"Does it help you to _keep your mind off things_?"

He frowned and stood up. "What the _fuck_ is your problem?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe it's the fact that you nearly kissed me this afternoon and that now you just snogged Astoria in the middle of an empty highway!" I screamed.

His eyes widened in shock. "You were stalking me!" he yelled.

"I was not! I wanted to talk to you!"

"About what? How perfect Harry is and how happy he makes you?"

"Shut up! We're going to the ball as friends!"

"I'm finding it hard to believe that! You could have told me you were together!"

"We are not in a relationship! And you kissed me without permission Friday night!"

"You kissed me back!"

"I was drunk! I could say you were taking advantage of me!"

"I was not and you know that!"

"I don't care!" I yelled angrily. "You could have asked me ages ago to be your date!"

"I was scared! I didn't know how to react around you!" he screamed back.

I blinked. "You're damn right you didn't know how to react around me! Shit, this is like the Yule Ball and Ron all over again!"

"Don't compare me to the Weasel!"

"Yeah well at this point it's hard finding anyone better to compare you to!"

"Listen, Granger, I'm doing what I can." he whispered.

"By kissing that… that… whore?" I said. "That's not a way of trying!"

"I was confused and she took advantage of it! It's not like you had claimed property on me, was it?"

He had a point. We weren't in a relationship and I don't know what made me think we were.

"I wish." I whispered to myself.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing…"

"Fine." he snapped. He picked up his book and started walking up to his room.

"Malfoy, come back here!" I screamed.

He turned around so quickly if I'd blinked I would have missed it. He was so furious he looked like a lion ready to attack.

"Why are you acting this way around me?" I asked. I didn't understand how he could go from flirtatious with me to annoying git to unsolvable mystery to cranky teenager.

He considered me. "Why? You're asking me why?" he growled. His eyes suddenly sparkled brighter with anger and I got terrified. Every muscle in his body was tense and his jaw was clenched.

"I fucking love you Granger, that's why!"

I nearly fell over with surprise. My heart rate intensified. _He loves me._ I blinked several times. _He loves me. _My jaw dropped. _He loves me. He loves me. He loves me._

_He loves me._

Malfoy was breathing like he had just played a five hour Quidditch game. His eyes were still dark and it seemed like he was ready to bury himself back in his room. But before he had the time to say or do anything else, words spilled out of my mouth like vomit. Too fast.

"I love you too."

This was it. I had admitted to myself and to him at the same time that the feelings Ginny had seen in me were true. Something in my stomach seemed to tangle while something in my brain seemed to untangle. It was as if everything seemed clear, as if I had finally put everything into order. Yet I wanted to throw up and bang my head against the wall because I knew that our relationship was over. Both of us had thrown the friendship out the window.

I turned to leave and mourn the death of our partnership, my eyes blurry and my breathing heavy, when cold fingers enveloped my wrist and pulled me. I whipped around.

And my lips met his.

This time it was real. I wasn't unconscious and drunk, nor was I wearing my ball dress and being interrupted by Blaise.

I was shocked at first and his kisses were soft, like he was trying to prove me that it wasn't a dream. I seemed to wake up after a few seconds and closed my eyes. This time, I kissed him back. My hands went up his chest, caressed his neck and trailed into his hair. My arms circled his neck as his arms held me around my waist, and I was grateful that he didn't let go because my knees gave out. We kissed until it was hard to breathe, and I'll admit it was taking all my power to not rip his clothes off. I had to pull away.

"What-" he started, but I cut him off. He wiped the tears from my cheeks. "Don't cry." he whispered.

"It's just… I have this mental image of you kissing Astoria." I said.

He considered me. Then, without any warning, he burst into laughter.

"Granger, I don't love her. I was confused. Let's forget it, alright?"

For the first time in ages, I smiled and blushed.


	18. Perfect

Chapter 18 – Perfect

I walked down the stairs of the castle, gripping Harry's arm so hard my knuckles whitened. Draco was gorgeous as ever, holding a drink, at the bottom of the stairs. He was talking with Blaise and Ginny, who were together. Lavender was eating Ron's face out, and I stuck my tongue out in disgust. I was so nervous, I wanted to run back into my dorm, and hide from the crowd, even if my best friend was holding me into place.

Draco looked up at me. His eyes widened. His jaw dropped slightly. And I smiled shyly down at him. We walked passed him, and I blushed at the way he was looking at me. I had minimized myself for the ball. I was wearing the dress I had bought, and he had seen, and Ginny had done my hair up with just a few teasing curls falling down on my shoulders. Harry dragged me to the food, and I picked up a drink. I was just about to bring it to my lips when somebody snatched it from my hands.

"Remember what happened last time you had alcohol?" Malfoy said from behind me. I whipped around.

"No…"

"Well, I want you to remember tonight." He said quietly. He turned around to meet Harry's icy glare.

"Do you mind?" he asked, just as he took my hand. Harry's eyes widened. Before The Boy Who Lived said something, Draco dragged me to the dance floor.

"If you hurt her, imma rip your head off!" I heard Harry yell.

"And I believe you!" chuckled Draco, as he pulled me closer.

"You can't just kidnap me like that, Malfoy." I said.

"Oh, back to Malfoy are we? Not the name you screaming last night." He said.

"Shut the fuck up." I said as I slapped him playfully.

"Fiesty, I like that."

"Will you be a decent gentleman just once in a while?"

He bent towards me.

"You are the most beautiful woman in this room, Hermione Granger" he whispered in my ear.

He reached in his tux, and pulled out a single rose. It was dark red, and the ends of the petals were as dark as blood. The leaves were dying and crumpled up. It wasn't just a plain flower, it was deadly. I looked up into his steel eyes, and we both knew everything this rose meant. It meant danger. It meant beauty. It meant love until death and love beyong death. It meant life. It meant both of us.

And I couldn't answer because he looked down at me, and kissed me. I heard people gasp. And Ginny squeal. And I smiled, because I was nervous and excited, and for once I didn't care about anything, about my homework, my future, my friends, my family, and he made me feel alive, just like he did every time he touched me. I wanted more, so much more. I couldn't let him go. And I knew he wouldn't, and that even if we didn't last, the pain at the end would be worth the relationship, something I didn't have with Ron. He made me learn, he challenged me every day. He was everything I needed, right now, when I was lost and drowning in a sea of questions, and he could answer all of them casually. He made me stop worrying, he made me calm. He was the Draco Malfoy I needed, the one I loved.

And the music mixed with the lights, the colors, his perfume in my lungs, the taste of his mouth, the rose against my chest and the feeling of the ribbons I knew he would gently pull later, it just made my whole world perfect.

**So... yeah. Sorry for not updating earlier. Sorry for making this chapter so short. I have my reasons. First of all, I just didn't have anymore inspiration. I was in a bad place for the past few months. I think I still am. I had real trouble ending the story, and it just came to me while I was doing my homework. I had ideas for other stories, and this one just didn't bring me the thrill it did in the first few chapters. I feel like I screwed the whole thing up. Anyways, it happens sometimes, I guess. I'm really sorry, and thank you for reading it, and for following it. My first online fanfiction. I'll post a new story soon.**

**Thank you, Angel, for sticking with me forever.**

**Thanks for all the reviewers, especially 2bethz2, Hermione'sHairLookAlike and, well, all of you, actually. You made me feel good.**


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